It’s my first holiday season away from my parents and siblings. Today is Thanksgiving and I’m homesick… really homesick. Even with my amazing family over here, nobody can replace my crazy little sisters theatric presentations, my brother’s bear hugs, my mom in the kitchen and my dad’s snuggles ‘n’ snores. Gaelon is even part of the family this year… Well he has been part of the family for a year and a half, but even after I’m gone he’s celebrating Thanksgiving with my family, our family really. Amber is peeling potatoes without me ‘n’ my mom is stuffing olives without me… two duties I usually take care of for our family’s get-togethers. It’s really sunk in today that I have a new life away from what I’ve known for almost two decades, and they’re just fine without me. Dad was talking about how the girls are dancing around the house as I could hear their dramatic, operatic voices in the background… I’m usually there singing and dancing with them. I know I can dance around with Tate, but it’s just not the same. I can’t run down to Toast for a familiar cup of coffee that I order from a familiar face, from a friend. I can’t run into the bedroom and snuggle with my sisters. I can’t hop in Gaelon’s lap and lay my head on his chest. Here I am… amongst all my family, but still so alone. God I can’t wait ‘til my life picks up a bit out here. I’m still friendless, jobless, lifeless. I seriously don’t know HOW people can move across the country without family or friends there to help soften the blow. I suppose if you don’t have any strong ties like family or long-time friends it wouldn’t be so hard. I’m just SO close with my family, that’s what’s hardest.

On the other hand, talking to my dad also reminded me exactly why I’m over here. When he talked about my aunts over there I remember how screwed up my extended family is, then I look at my extended family over here and realize how lucky I am to have all of them. There is so much dysfunction amongst my Michigan family that I need to be away from. I don’t like being angry, but so many of them just piss me off. Plus, where would I end up if I stayed in Michigan? Stuck? Wondering what if? I’m not going to risk the cliché “what ifs” of staying behind and not giving somewhere new a fair chance.

For more good news, I’m doing well on my three goals I set for myself. Since being here I have lost 7 lbs, not cut or chemically altered my hair AND I’ve finished 3 of the 4 books in the Twilight series. I’ve been working out almost every day on the elliptical and doing crunches. I started my job on Wednesday (but still need to find a part time job to make friends and fill up some of my extra time).

I cannot WAIT ‘til Gaelon moves out here! I’m so excited that I’ll have someone familiar to hold me, to fall asleep next to, to walk beside and start a life with. Every night when I lay down ‘n’ turn the lights off is when the loneliness really hits me. I’ve been keeping fairly busy, but when I’m alone I feel very, very alone.

Have I mentioned yet how EXTREMELY happy I am to have Gaelon here with me for the begining of this transition away from Petoskey? Well if not, I need to say thanks to Gaelon for coming, to Allie and Jay for getting his ticket and to Mancinos for letting him have the time off (lol sounds like I just won an award). His being here has just made the whole transition easier so far. I think having a familiar face who is willing to be a shoulder to cry on, or to share my enthusiasm has deffinitely made me feel more comfortable about being 2300 miles away from home. I think when I bid him farewell at the airport is when it's going to really sink in that I'm not on vacation anymore.  

Gaelon and I decided to check out Seattle two days ago when we looked outside and saw SUNSHINE!! It's true, sunshine is hard to come by around here, so we took full advantage of that beautiful day. We went down to Broadway, one of the main streets in Seattle. There are lotsa little shops down there. One that I thought was pretty sweet was like what Hot Topic tries to be. There were all kinds of gothic style crazy boots, corsets, dresses, skirts, accessories, etc. AND not to mention LOTS of manic panic colors YAAY! The workers there seemed pretty awsome. There was also an amazing thrift store down there, like somewhere Jasmine and Rachel would go crazy. I didn't spend much time in there as not to bore Gaelon, but Rachel of Jasmine if you ever come to visit me, that's our first stop!  

We did lunch at a delicious indian restaurant (though we had the choice of anything! GOD it's great to be somewhere with a bit of diversity). It's fun walking down the street and seeing people in all types of clothing, with all skin colors. I don't feel like everyone was stamped out of a cookie cutter around here.

The whole family is so welcoming. Every day I'm getting hugs and kisses, the kids love to have me around. I've been playing games with Summer and Tryston (2 and 4), when i'm here they won't go to bed without saying goodnight. Tate (11) and I have a new Wii rivalry lol.

Ooooh what a load of crap! I was told I only need one proof of residency to get my WA drivers license, so I brought the only proof that I have. After a two hour wait for my soc sec card, and a nearly 2 hour wait at the DHS, my number was called and he said, "great! where's your second proof?" WHAT?!?!?! Since I'm living with my aunt the only other way I can establish proof of residency is by registering to vote or to wait for my soc sec card to come in the mail. WTF?!?! I was so grumpy already since I hadn't eaten (bad move on my part! do NOT forget to eat before going to get a ss card or dr license or you'll be hurtin'). On the plus side, I got a lot of reading done!

I decided to pick up reading now that I'm over here since it rains a butt-load and I don't have nearly as many friends as I did over there. Already in two days I'm 150 pgs into Twilight (which for me is AMAZING).

Wellll anywho, off to shower and what-nots so I look purdy for my orientation with the social worker (don't want to look like a bum for that one I suppose).

Farewell for now, I love and miss you ALL!!

No more planning, no more packing, no more hoping, no more wondering... I leave at 7 am, and I feel wonderful about my whole situation. I said some well-needed goodbyes, hugged who I needed to hug and made amends with whom they were necessary. When Allie asked me tonight what my worries are, I honestly couldn't give her one.

For a couple weeks I was afraid I wouldn't be able to see Katie, my best friend of 8 years, but I ended up spending a couple hours with her tonight. It worked out beautifully. We met at Toast, walked down to the waterfront and were greated by an extatic, sprinting Angelo. After talking for a good hour or so, we migrated back up to Toast where Nikki met us for a moment and we were able to reminice about how we met in that booth. Sounds cheesy I know, but we made it quite personal, we laughed, we cried and we hugged. Katie wrote me a little letter and we cried some more. I'm pretty sure that's the longest hug we've ever given her in nearly a decade of friendship.

Everyone else's goodbyes were sad as well, but they made me feel very loved. Some people that I didn't expect to care seemed sad to see me leaving, some just seemed excited for me to embark on this journey.

My Grandma said, "I've always had an itch to travel, so to see you leave for this one makes me very excited for you, you'll have a good time."

Jasmine said, "in a week I'm going to realise that you're not around anymore and I'll be like, 'why did you leave slut face?'" lol....

Rachel said, "I want to be sad for you, but you're doing exactly what I want to do, so I can only be excited that you get to do it."

Angelo told me that he's jealous and Allie stressed that she's very proud. My mom says the west coast is looking better and better every day. Beth says she wishes she could leave right now, and if it weren't for school she'd be right by my side.

I know there will be some hard times, I know I will miss some things about this life, but right now I'm just super excited! Everyone's given me their advice. My aunt found me a job. I have a place to live. I have a family to go home to. I have someone I trust driving with me (Gaelon). Everything has fallen into place beautifully.

To anybody I may not have had the chance to say goodbye too, I want to say it now. Bye everyone, I love you! Thanks for everything you've done for me. Wish me the best and I hope the same for you. Hopefully I'll be back around next Christmas to visit.